The Downside to Porn and Video Games

 

Dear Jerk,

What is wrong with men in this generation? They used to be so strong and goal driven, now they just play video games and do the minimum to get by. Is there anything we, as women, can do?

-B

 

Dear B,

Most of the time I blame women for their perspective on men, but today I’m feeling a little giving today. Today I’m going to bash on men finally and probably in a way that men will hate me forever…

Porn, video games and/or sports, and the microwave — the trifecta of the self satisfying pleasures of man.

"Ladies... the line forms next to the dirty clothes basket, I'll be with you in a moment."

Note ladies, there is no love, babies, cuddling, chores, talking about feelings, communicating, or shopping in that short list. These are the things that make all men happy. Porn satisfies their need for sex, video games or watching sports satisfies their need for competition, and microwaves satisfies their need for sustenance. All of which conflict directly with women’s biological needs to (not all women) find a mate, make babies, and yell at him for being an idiot.

All of these things can be summoned up within seconds to gratify any impulse at any moment 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Before, during our cavemen days and all the way up until the modern era, we had to work for sex, food, and competition.  Now, we just fake our brains to think we aren’t hungry, we’ve had sex, and that we just fought a war.

There is a reason why our body releases endorphin when you work hard to do something, the endorphin makes you happy and your body associates that happy feeling with the hard work, and therefore perpetuates hard work and happy body — hence the old work ethic that has gone by the wayside.

You can just smell the endorphin screaming out of this man.

In cave men days, when a man didn’t have a mate, he would have to kill a man to take his, then convince her that he was worthy to pass on his genes. Even in the days before the internet came around, and standards for sex were very high, a men had to get a good job, accumulate some money, and court a girl for probably what seemed to be years and marry her before he was able to have sex.

This seems like a lot of work to men now, but because he had all that sexual aggression pent up and the only way to release it was to work toward having sex, it was easy. Now, because of Women’s Lib (the freedom to bang anything they so chose) and the availability of pornography, we no longer have to work hard to have sex and therefore, don’t have to work hard. Not only that, but then, sex was associated with hard work, and now it is associated with self-pleasuring, and therefore the downfall of sex being a two-way street of happiness.

Video games take the place of a male to male social ranking. Before, men were forced to compete with surrounding men based upon their wealth, strength, and beard length in order to satisfy our need for competition. Now, we go to our rooms and compete against other men in anonymity with no social repercussions for failure or success. This breeds an entire generation of cowards, that are competitive, but only in the realm of their digital life.

Participating in sports is a healthy way to satisfy the need to compete, but WATCHING sports is an unhealthy way, in the same way that playing video games is, except you have minimal social repercussions if your chosen team has failed to make the cut.

The microwave is the God-sent of all single men, we no longer have to cook, chase down a buffalo, or get married to a woman that knows how to cook; we just unwrap the plastic, pop it in, and eat. Not to mention how incredibly unhealthy eating your entire diet out of a microwave is.

There should be suicide prevention tips on every 10 pages of this book.

So, this modern era with it’s video games, porn, and microwaves has created an environment for content and happy single men who do enough work to continue their use of porn, video games and microwaves. This creates an environment for hardworking and unhappy women — a recipe for disaster.

So, all jokes aside this time men, put aside the porn and use your sexual energy for good things, like working out or working hard. Learn to cook and learn how to participate in competition with social repercussions, otherwise, women will farm us for our sperm and realize that lesbian sex is so much hotter than sleeping with our stupid asses.

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4 responses to “The Downside to Porn and Video Games

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