#3: Women are taking over the world
They run this mother.
Aside from the fact that women possess a monopoly on the one thing that heterosexual women want — silence, they are getting smarter, more money, and more powerful by the minute. At this projected rate the world will be doused in pastels, reality shows, and feelings and men will be harvested for children to suit women’s biological clocks and enslaved to do icky work like take out the trash and assemble things from IKEA.
If you want to see men getting more and more like cavemen watch the modern sitcom. The majority of sitcoms are populated Omega men who spend most of their time navigating the best way to fart without crapping their pants and a woman who rolls her eyes at them and raises the kids, pays the bills, and cures cancer.
Not only are women taking over the things that rot our brains, but they are taking over the institutions that are made to enrich our brains. In 1970, women made up 41% of the undergraduate population, in 2009 women made up 56% of the population — and 100% of the population of Girls Gone Wild: College Edition according to the US Census (the college attendance portion is the US Census, the Girls Gone Wild is my own research, they denied the funding for that research). In 40 years female attendance has increased by 15%, so using my caveman brain, and my experience playing Math Blaster, by the year 2128 100% of people in colleges would be women, and by 2199 — this.
Oh, but you stroke your mustache, and say women make less money then men, how could they ever afford rocket cadet school in the year 2199 without the help of a man. Well, fake man with a dapper mustache, stick this statistic in your mahogany pipe and smoke it: In 1980 women made 60% of what men made as a nation average, now it is up to 77% of what men make. Using the same Math Blaster skills, by 2199 women will have 309% of all the money. If you want to go to the space bar and drink space beer with your space buddies from the space quarry, you’ll have to ask your wife three times as hard, because in the future, you pay your wife just to space work in the space quarry. With money being power, the women will not only have all the power, but three times as much power even if you had all the power and money given to you buy a genie — you would still be a third class citizen, but the gay men will be second class, because every girl needs a gay best friend.