Five Reasons Why Women Should be Feared: Number Four.

#4: Women are Just Like the Criminally Insane

We have all heard the stories of the person that heard the Devil/God speaking him/her and he/she murders/eats their whole/half family/office party. This my friends is called Psychosis aka bat-shit crazy. The general psychiatric phrase used to describe someone with psychosis is “loss of contact with reality.”

Symptoms of Psychosis:

  • Hallucinations: sensory perception in the absence of external stimuli
  • Delusions: thoughts that are not  comprehensible in normal mental process
  • Thought Disorder: a disconnection and disorganization of the semantic content of speech and writing

So, essentially, people who possess psychosis see things that aren’t there, think thoughts that are impossible or extremely improbable, and/or struggle with creating coherent speech or writing.

Delusions and Hallucinations

The Shining — Psychosis

Delusions and Hallucinations

Psycho — Psychosis

Hallucinations, Delusions, and Thought Disorder

PMS

Remember that general psychiatric phrase, “loss of contact with reality.” Louann Brizendine, M.D. who is a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco wrote a book called The Female Brain. She states that, while studying the female brain, “I discovered the massive neurological effects her hormones have during different stages of life in shaping her desires, her values and the very way she perceives reality.” Changes how she perceives her reality!? Women’s hormones are flitting around her like a kindergarten class in a ball pit at McDonald’s, with more screaming!

Sweet Baby Jesus...

NONE of those lines are straight, so how to women know what to do? Dr. Brizendine says that her patients where, ” feeling so jerked around by their hormones on some days they couldn’t work or speak to anyone because they’d either burst into tears or bite someone’s head off.” BITE SOMEONE’S HEAD OFF!? Loss of reality, thought disorder, hallucinations and now violence. She goes on, “This extreme form of PMS…introducted me to how the female brain’s reality can turn on a dime.” At any moment a woman could be talking sweetly to you, telling you about her day, or giving you a smooch and then BAM, no more freaking head — for no reason other than she sudden thought your head was a chocolate covered cherry.

But, my friends, it gets worse. Dr. Brizendine says:

The final days before their period start can be hell on Earth. Hostility, hopeless feelings of depression, plans for suicide, panic attacks, fear, and uncontrollable bouts of crying and rage can plague them.

So, let me make this clear, 50% of our population, at anytime, cannot tell the difference between reality and fiction, this effect can occur at anytime, are prone to biting people’s heads off and bouts of uncontrollable rage. This is much more disturbing than I thought.

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9 responses to “Five Reasons Why Women Should be Feared: Number Four.

  1. I don’t think women know this little secret, but here it is. They don’t have to be controlled by constantly fluctuating hormones. There’s a magic little pill called birth control. It makes your body and your brain think that you are pregnant, therefore keeping the levels of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone pretty even. It reduces PMS down to maybe 3 or 4 times a year. Way better than every 21 – 28 days, right?

    Oh, and you forgot Carrie. That’s my personal favorite.

    • I do know this secret, but also what I know is that birth control is part of the problem. Birth control certainly does control your fluctuations of hormones, but it also places a woman in a faked state of pregnancy making her less sexually active and less attracted to assertive manly men and more attracted hipsters and weaker more frail and gentle men.

      • Another lie created by icy women who don’t want to have sex because they want control in the relationship. Just like, “SSRI’s make me not want to do it”. Maybe for a man, but not so much for women.

        Lies. Just more lies.

  2. Lol, you said women were evil because of their reproductive parts, right? She’s a woman. She has parts. She is capable of evil!

    It was a joke. Not a “women can’t be doctors” or anything. Some of the best doctors I’ve had been female. My current OB/gyn was the only one actually concerned that I was going to develop cancer.

  3. Okay, Skeleton Fingers-

    Good work on adding the ‘Subscribe’ button. Thanks. I both subscribed and added you to my blog roll – which is very unusual as I have a very short blogroll and have been selective about who I admit I read.

    Also, It would be really helpful to readers if you add an ‘Archive” also under “appearance” and then click “widgets”. It’s easy to add, and wordpress will do all the work for you. Maybe you’d like to rename it something badass sassy, though – they let you do that.
    Then later, you might want to allow readers to see who is commenting. It’s all there under widgets. Here’s to hoping your sidebar develops right along with the rest of your blog content 😉

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